Before I begin today, I would like to take a moment to address anyone reading this who considers themselves a customer of cosmetics. The people I call out here are the worst of the worst - the most notorious customer types in our business. As I said in my previous post, my goal here is to help you understand how not to shop in cosmetics. So if you're asking yourself if I'm talking about you, the answer is probably not. I'm just giving you some insight into why those beauty experts sometimes act the way they do. Case in point, why do they look at you a little suspiciously when you return something? Or why do they open that box when you hand it over? Well, let me explain...
Anyone who knows retail understands how epic the topic of returners is. You will see me hit on this topic again and again. There are so many different archetypes that fall under this heading, it's hard to know where to begin...oh, wait. Actually, I know just where to start. How about with:
"The Trickster"
Almost nothing gets our blood boiling faster than you. You count on the fact that we won't open the box during the return. In fact, there are some stores that tell us not to open the product because they don't want the customer feeling uncomfortable - not that we listen BTW. Because that would just encourage you further. You think you're so slick, replacing that $200 cream with drugstore body lotion, like we can't tell the difference. Or filling that fragrance with water. You think we don't spray it to make sure? Oh, how we love the moment we get to toss your duplicity in you face. Really, it makes us giggle on the inside. But even if you do manage to fool us, it will only be once. We have your name, and we pass it on. Plus, we spread the word to everyone on the floor, just in case you come in again. That's why you bounce from store to store, because you know you can't hit the same store twice. And if you're not the brightest bulb, and you do try to purchase at our store after pulling your little shenanigans - my advice is be careful. You may just get your cheap body lotion back.
I can't talk about returns and not touch on this person:
"The Constant Returner"
Oooh. We really don't like you. At all. Know why? Because we are not allowed to not sell to you. We would love to tell you to take a hike and never show your face again, but our management kind of frowns on that type of thing. So you keep doing your thing, and you wonder why every person in the department ignores you. Now you know. No one wants to take that hit. For people who make commission, or have goals to make, it's inevitable that you always come in - always at the end of the month - and screw up our numbers. Yeah, I know - it just didn't work for you. Nothing ever works for you. I mean, really? Nothing ever? Seriously, you literally never keep anything we sell you. Of course, we do understand the real problem. That shopping high wore off, or it was time to pay that credit card bill. I'm not going to preach that we aren't all guilty of that from time to time, but not two, three, four times a month. When it seems to be your only hobby, that's a problem. One we are all so very tired of dealing with...
My goal isn't to make people feel guilty for returning, or to make them think we instantly dislike them if they do return. For 80% of people, it is entirely justified and forgivable - even when you do stretch the limits sometimes.
This is for the people who constantly take advantage of us. So, I will wish them well by saying, "May that new face cream give you many breakouts - at least then that return will be justified."
:)Cheers, and happy shopping.
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